Sweet morning

Ryan slept in till 7:45 which was very nice after being out so late at a co-workers x-mas party where we sung a lot on a karaoke machine.

So far this morning I taught Ryan to say cheers after hitting cups together, his water cup my coffee. He knows that mom drinks COFFEEEEEE in the morning. He was trying to play ball with our cat Roag, he helped me with the laundry.
Its awesome. He is talking more and more every day and we are understanding more.

We are about to go out and do a little home and christmas shopping. I just wanted to do a fast update.

Our teacher at his school (aka day care), Miss Anna was even saying this week Ryan has jumped in developmental milestones. She was saying at lunch another boy was crying for his water and Ryan goes "Jeremy, go water" and was pointing at the little container they keep all the water cups in. They keep it low on a table so the kids can go and grab their own cup. She said it was funny cause Ryan was all "Gee dude, you want you water just go get it, its right there, no need to cry about it."

We had to sign reports about Ryan biting and hitting other kids on Monday, it was embarrassing. Well on Wednesday one of the little girls Judy went up and HIT another girl Chloe. Twice. (While we where there.)Chloe was crying so I told Ryan "see now Chloe is crying cause she was hurt, she ouch cause Judy hurt her. Why dont you go give Chloe a hug and let her know it will be okay."
Ryan went over and they hugged each other for a min. Ryan comes back to me and I say "see you made Chloe happy by being nice to her, not hurting or ouching her, hugs are very nice buddy."
He smiled at me.

He hasn't hit or bit anyone since. Fingers crossed it sticks. He is 19 months old, soon to be 20 months.
We are going to Florida soon. Can not wait for my mom and dad to see him. My mom was here in Oct but my dad hasn't seen him in 13 months. He has changed A LOT.

:D

Shit he is getting smart he wanted on the couch so he grabbed a pillow off the couch to put on the floor to give him a lift. damn it. Smart kid is getting smart. Proud and worried at the same time, welcome to the life of a mom.

Hitting and Biteing

WOW

On the way to bath he bite me hard enough to leave a wicked mark and when I said OUCH! He slapped me. I put him on the change table and I held his face and told him he hurt mom and he hit mom and why would be do that? We do not bite or hit, I told him he hurt me again and mom would NEVER hurt him cause I love him so why would he hurt mom so much? He looked right at me sort of sad looking and said "Im sorry." Not sorry but I am sorry.

wow.

just wow.

I told him it was okay and he should be sorry for hurting mom but when we are upset we should use our words. I told him I know he is tired and coughing (not feeling great) but he should not hurt mom. I said I was happy we talked and he understood I asked him if we can high five for talking so we did. Then I asked if he understood he should talk to mom, he nodded and we went off to the bath.

it was pretty good.

I am so happy he understands me. He gets it. He knows he hurt me, he knows he shouldn't. Because of that I know he will hit me, sometimes by accident  sometimes when he is mad, but we can talk about it.

I love that.

When he is tired or not feeling well he regresses. He stops using words too and just grunts at stuff. I think I let him go past his bed time also. He didn't nap much at school so I am to blame for it a little. The first clue should have been around 6:45 when he stopped saying "apple" and "food" and started grunting and screaming a little. I kept saying "Bud, do you want apple? Do you want cracker? Do you want food or drink?" and he just kept doing this grunt and high pitch squeal. Oh well, none of us are perfect but we both tried. :D

Holy shit that bite hurt.

Election Eve, Halloween and changes

I am hopeful. I am hopeful my country men will make the right choice. However I am also worried.
I think this sums it up very well.
http://robdelaney.tumblr.com/post/34643328161/after-sandy


Last Wednesday we took Ryan trick or treating for the first time. We went over to Mike and Janets to meet up with the girls.

 Alexandra and Chloe 

Sloane

Oh no, we dropped the bucket. Oh it was empty? Thats okay then.

After having a snack we were off. Ryan was a little worried at the first door but by the second he wants to hold the bucket, knock on doors and grab his own candy. He didn't even really know what candy was he just knew if he knocked on a door a grown up told him he was super cute and put stuff in his bucket or let him grab stuff.

 Ryan in the dragon outfit getting the hang of it.

 CANDY! (love Ryans face here)

 The group.

Ryan got really good at saying "trick or treat" and "thank you". Sounds more like "tickteet" and "tankyou" but it was still super cute.

I went up with Ryan to one house and helped him knock on the door, the guy saw my outline and thought it was older kids. He puts on a scary mask and throws open the door and sees four small kids 3 years of age and under and pulls of the mask goes "oh my, I am so sorry!" and puts the bowl out of good chocolate for the kids to get one. Ry looks at me, I say"its okay buddy go ahead." he takes one. He looks at me again... and reaches in to grab with a little toddler hand and get three bars! He puts it in his bucket, he goes to do it again. I try to stop him and tell him that is a little greedy, the guy holding the candy is laughing and telling me to let him! I smile and tell Ryan to say thank you and very embarrassedly scoot Ryan on to the next house.

This is the bucket of candy Ryan kept grabbing from, I am to the left with him trying to push/pull his hand away from the bucket gently.

It was a VERY fun night! After about 10 houses and some very full buckets we went back to Mike and Janet. Here is Mike. hehe

Or Doctor Park to some of you. (with his youngest daughter, the cupcake) yes he is dressed as an egg.

Janet had to stay home to hand out the candy to visiting kids.

Here are some cute shots of the kids enjoying the spoils of trick or treating.

 Mmmmmm chips.

Sloane is not big on eating candy but she LOVES the smell.

 SNNNNNNIIIIIFFFFFFFF

Alexandra likes the candy though. YUM!!! Good choice!

Janet enjoying the treats too. heh

Ryan just wants to ride the BMW. Another good choice!

It was so much fun. The next night Ryan was being so good he got Smarties for the first time, big shocker is that he liked them.

______________________________________________________________________

On to his 18 month check up and new awesome things he is doing.

Doc said he is big. He is about 3lbs over where he should be. So we cut his whole milk to 2% and cut it back big time. Or at least are trying to. I am also trying to cut back on carbs for him, he LOVES carbs so we are trying new stuff like red pepper or cucumber when we get home. He will be so hungry he will be shaking and crying so he gets a snack. Doc told me to stop letting him snack. I explained he gets two a day. One at school and one when he gets home and stuff like Banana, yogurt or apple. He was like "oh then thats okay." Bloody hell, its not like I am giving him ice cream and a bowl of crack. It's a friggn apple.

However just switching the milk will help a lot. (water no juice, not a fan of juice). If Ryan hasn't pooped I give him 1/3 pear juice and 2/3 water. Always does the trick.
Other then the 'weight issue' he is healthy.

On to changes.

He is growing up, what feels like, to fast. Eats with a fork or spoon or at least trying to. Gets mad when I try to feed him (I CAN do it mom!). Understands when he hurts me or does something he shouldn't (more later on this). Liked to give a treat to Roag (our kitty boy). Is starting to comunicate with me so much better. (more on this too). Loves to drink out of moms glass.

Sorry mom...
Yesterday Christina and Robin were over for dinner. (sister/brother in law). After dinner Christina, Ry and I were in the living room/sunroom. Ryan grabs my glasses and starts to twist them. I say something like "RYAN NO, those are moms glasses, DO NOT TOUCH, you know better." He gives them to me. I go on my knees and say to him " buddy those are moms only glasses, you know better then to touch, they are not a toy for you, okay hon." Ryan looks at me and says softly "sorry". I say to him. "buddy I am not mad at you, thank you for giving them back to mom, can I get a hug?" he hugs me and then we tickle fight.
It was epic. Other parents will get how HUGE this is. Hell I think even non-parents will get how huge this is.

I WANT IT...

This morning I take Ryan out of the crib, change his diaper (all the while he is chatting and laughing as I ask him about his night). I pick him up and as we leave the room he starts to cry. I go into the living room and set him down. I say "bud, you have to use your words or show mom what is upsetting you, do you want to show me?" and I hold my hand out. He grabs my hand and leads me back into his bedroom. He points at the computer mouse on the floor Neil gave him to play with and goes "da?" I tell him its okay to grab it. He smiles, laughs, picks it up, grabs my hand and we go back into the living room to play. I sit down with him and tell him thank you for showing mommy what upset him and he can always show mommy or tell mommy what he is upset about. Then he follows me in to the kitchen  points at where we keep Roags (cat) treat and says cat in Hungarian and apple (apple is his word for food). We take the treats out and Ryan gives a few to Roag. Ryan laughs, asks for some Cheerios and drink. Takes them to his table in the sunroom, sits down and eats them while I am making breakfast.

It's insane.

It's so cool.

I love it.

Response to Emily and other topics/ramblings.

My buddy Emily has a new blog. (newish mom!)
 She wrote this post and I was writing a reply and then realized my reply was longer then her post. Figured I would just post in my blog since its been way too long.
http://minkflamingos.com/2012/10/20/im-in-your-relationship-dropping-bombs


Wonderful post. And all very very true. As you (most of you) know Ryan was a breast feed baby. I was very adamant about that, we both were. So those first few days are so hard. Then the first few weeks. Neil would work all day, come home and help me, and then make us dinner and even feed me while I tried to feed Ryan. It's really about a united front, still is and I think always will be.

Couples that are on the verge of splitting and have a baby really confuse the shit out of me. Really?! You think having a completely dependent being is going to keep you together. BULLSHIT. When neither of you get sleep for 3 weeks and you find yourself arguing over who got more sleep last night that is the reality of having a kid.
"I was up at 1am feeding the baby and you were snoring, I remember, I put it in my iPhone app. It was so annoying and hard to not kill you."
"Really because I was up at 1:15 when Ryan cried and you were sleeping away and you were farting in your sleep." Then I would pull out my iPhone and open my "what to expect" app and show him exactly when I feed ryan, on what boob and when he went back to sleep.
Yes I was a freak those first few months. No surprise there.

You get shit on, literally, barfed on, sore nipples, blisters, not wanting to eat, not being able to eat enough, zombie like brain function, pissed you ran out of wipes and it's just when the kid took a huge dump and it's everywhere, mad you are home with the baby and hubby gets to escape to work, mad the wife gets to nap during the day, try to keep the house somewhat cleanish, make sure you are feed too, oh is that barf on your shirt? Well it's just one or two spots so it's clean enough, wash your hair every 3 days because you rather try to sleep... and so on. All the while bleeding, healing stitches and dealing with crazy hormones. (not to mention being aware you are crazy and feeling guilt over that.)

One thing I should mention, my son is 18 months old. (1 1/2 to you non-parents). And it's AWESOME. Yes we have a whole new bundle of issues, you always will. (NO HITTING RYAN!) But it's so awesome when he says "whatisthat mama?" (always wanting to learn) or when I get him from day care and he comes RUNNING when he sees me. The hugs, the dancing together, colouring on a piece of paper, him stealing all my food and I don't give a crap cause he is eating, laughing and then him laughing at me laughing and back and forth, running in circles cause is fun, hide and seek, tickling each other... it's amazing. Nothing like it in the world. I can not express completely how it makes you feel.

One thing to take away from this is; always ask how the dad is doing. No one ever asks the father "Hey man, how you holding up?" It's hard when a baby is breast feed and the dad can't really help they just see the mom going crazy (what happened to my wife?!). It's hard when you are up all night with a kid and then have to work and then come home to watch the kid (you can't feed) so your wife can nap or shower or just take a poop. Then said baby screams at you cause YOU do not have boobs and they just want mom and you just want everyone to be happy and to sleep. Dads are always under-appreciated.

When I was in labor I remembered hearing that, no one every worries about the husband/male. I did. I asked Neil how he was doing. I knew it was exciting/stressful/joyous/worried time for him. Being that Ryan was not our first birth I knew he was a little worried. We knew what was at risk. Watching the heart rate on the baby drop so low he was worried, seeing the crash cart and the always slight risk he might lose me, maybe both of us, I knew my husband was worried. The feeling of helplessness. Nothing he could do but stand by my side, hold my leg up and NOT LOOK DOWN THERE. Smile at me and tell me it was going to be alright. I had to ask if he was okay. I remember him laughing, the nurse and doctor being shocked I was worried about him. Why wouldn't I be? He is my best friend and this was something we were embarking on together.


Hmmmmm looks like two glasses of German wine makes me chatty and full of nostalgia. Chalk it up to wine, turning 35 next month and wine.
Oh I already said wine.

heh.

In unrelated news. I took my Canadian Citizenship test Friday. I am pretty sure I missed three questions. One I know for sure I missed. Oh well I can miss up to five and still pass. I should get a letter in 3-5 months. I will keep my US so I will be dual citizenship. Very exciting.
A HUGE step in securing my family since my husband is Canadian and my son is Canadian born.

Balloon?

Today Nhi (coworker) went to the Dollar store. I gave her a few bucks to pick me up a balloon for Ryan.
(mylar not latex).
It was waiting in the car for him today after his school (daycare).
Holy hell I love how excited this kid gets over balloons. On the way home we hit Old Navy so Neil and I could get some clothing for running this weekend in the Run for Your Lives Toronto Zombie Run. He was such a good kid. He walked to the store (holding my hand) and walked around the store with me for a bit. Neil took over while I was trying on stuff and then I took over while Neil tried on his stuff. He was just super good.
We had dinner together when we got home and while I was cleaning up Neil and Ryan chilled and watched some stuff on the iPad together for a few min. Then bath and then Gabi came to visit for a bit.
Ryan is just so much fun to be with when he is feeling good.

Makes my day when we pick him up from school and you just see his face LIGHT up when he sees us. He comes running for a hug. Doesn't matter right now who is there to hug him, Neil or me. He is just excited to see us. I love it. It makes all the stress and worry from the day melt in that moment when he is running and then when he squeezes your neck in a hug and starts his 'talking' you forget all the stupid things that happened that day. All that matters is the kid in your arms trying to tell you about his day with that happy/excited tone of voice.

I love my life.

Oh wow

All of August went by without me posting.
Wow.

I need to remember that the reason I started this blog was to remember stuff. To remember all the silly things you forget as your child grows... or as you get less and less sleep.

We just got done with a wave of sickness. A scary one this time. Ry started off with a fever at school last Monday. A slight one, not even enough for them to call us.
When we got home he had gotten pretty warm. We took his temp and it was 102.5 (there abouts).
Gave him some Tylenol and a bath and off to bed. Around midnight be woke-up crying. Took his temp and it was in the 104's. And not the low 104's.
Neil grabbed him and was giving him cool water while I called Tellahealth. Long and short of it was worry when the fever is in the 104, if it gets to 105 go to the hospital ASAP. 108 is when long term damage can happen.
Scary stuff.

He had the runny poops since Saturday (we thought it was because he was teething since he didn't want to eat much either and was fussy)
Tuesday Neil was home with him and took him to a kids walkin. They told us to come back Wend if he still had a fever for blood work.
Wend came and he was still feverish. If we didn't give him medication to keep it down it would spike up close to the 105 mark. I took him tot he after hours walk in at the hospital since the one Neil went to tuesday sucks. They said if he still had a fever to bring him back Thursday. Clean ears, nose, throat and chest so no worries there and he was drinking like crazy just NOT eating.
So thursday came and we didn't like how high his fever still was so we went to the hospital.

Now all this time he will go to sleep on his own and then wake up around 1-2 with a fever crying so we would put him in bed with us. We got smart and we just dosed him around 1am while he was sleeping before the fever hit. Thursday morning though it came back pretty strong.
So after waiting and tests we found out they think it was a Viral tummy bug. Guess it was going around.
After a catheter to get a pee sample, a swab in his throat to test for strep and a thermometer in his butt we found out nothing we could do but medicate him and try to keep him hydrated. Poor kid
Friday he was with Gabi while Neil and I went to work. Medication given every 4-5 hours to keep his temp down. Gabi was a little late on a dose cause Ryan was getting some much needed sleep and his fever spiked back up.
By Saturday fever was gone and he was in the mood to eat a little. Has some bad gas and poop that night but no fever. By Sunday almost back to normal.

By Monday he was back to being our awesome little guy.

He is 17 Months old as of this past Monday.
He is talking all the time, most of the time we dont understand what he is saying. He is STILL obsessed with balloons. Just yesterday I asked if he wanted more yogurt and he opens his mouth and points to it.
YES BUDDY! FOOD!
COMUNICATE with us!

I could care less how he lets us know he wants food or drink just as long as he starts letting us know before he goes into a rage.

Fast one

Man this blog has been hurting since i have started back to work and since Ryan has become so mobile.
He hit 15 months last week. He also had a wicked sickness called Hand Foot and Mouth.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hand,_foot_and_mouth_disease
It was a nightmare. Scared the shit out of us. Fever, not wanting to eat, crying, not sleeping, super itchy feet for a few days, they started to crack really really bad and were pretty much open sores. Within 12 hours he went from almost no signs of being sick to me wanting to take him to the hospital. (hurray for Tellahealth).
Yeah. Not fun.
He is much beter now. His feet are still pealing a little and healing. He has dots on his feet, hands and back of his leg still. Not on his face anymore which is good.


So 15 months... He is sort of talking. Says Ball, Blue, Bottle, Mom, Dad, NO (and shakes his head), Poop, Drink, ThankYou and a few other words. Some are hard to understand some are clear as a bell. Ball is really good. And bottle/drink. I am pretty sure he is trying to say water. He says Bat. I am trying to teach him batman.
He loves to hold your hand and walk with you. We walk together every morning and every evening to the car/house. He is so good about it. Will stand in the elevator waiting till the door opens. It's pretty cute.
He also LOVES to tickle. I will lay on the floor and he will pull up my shirt to get my belly, all the while laughing like crazy. Its pretty funny. We also play fort with a blanket. He loves to be superman. I lay on the floor, hold his hands and he stands while I put my feet on his belly. I lay down and put him into the air while still holding his hands and he flys around above me. He loves it so much. And I love it to because my dad used to do this with me. 
Ryan also plays 'hide and go seek' with Neil. It's more a scare and run he does. Neil will jump out and scare him and Ryan will run away laughing like an insane person. Then turn around and chase Neil.
He plays fetch which is really handy in the morning during the week when we are trying to get ready for work. Neil just asks him to get the ball. Ryan brings it, Neil throws it and Ryan gets it and brings it back to Neil over and over. He brings me his shoes when I ask for them, and sometimes my shoes too. 


I really need to update about our DR trip, our first camping trip and this whole past month. time is flying.


Alas, happy mom is happy.

BooBoo

Ryan fell down last night pretty darn and he bent his finger nail back. Its purple!
Anyone that has done that knows it hurts like a mother lover. He was crying pretty hard so I was hugging him and giving him kisses on his thumb.
After I was done Neil told him to come to dad for hugs so he walks over to Neil still sort of crying a little and goes in for a nice long cuddle hug. So damn cute.

Poor little guy.
Not looking forward to the first time he falls down really bad and there is blood. (well he sort of already did that at school and cut above his eye). The teacher said he was super excited about milk and slipped.
Thats my 'fat kid' son. :D

So much

I have so much to write about!
This will be a short one since I am on my lunch break at work but hopefully I will go into more detail tonight.

So much has happened.
Ryan turned 14 months, we had an awesome fathers day weekend. Went camping for the first time (not so great at night) We had to leave around midnight, Ryan was coughing like crazy and couldn't sleep. Day Care Boogers strike again.
That was Saturday the 16th of June.

Monday the 18th - Monday the 25th we were in Punta Cana! We took an amazing trip just the three of us. So much fun.
More on that later as well.

Just two cool guys hanging out.

Update on Ryan. Still not talking so much. I am pretty sure he said 'Bottle' today and he does say mom and dad.

He is SUPER huggy and attached to us both right now. A little more to me. I have to calm down a lot of the time. I am a doer and I dont like just sitting I want to get up and go and get stuff done and I am trying to enjoy just sitting and playing with Ryan and reading a book together. Or even just cuddling. (which he did to me last week) I sat there with him for 10 min just cuddling. He wasn't ready to start his day and didn't give a crap that I was. He wanted to cuddle so that is what we did. On the floor in the living room. It was awesome.

Oh when he drops something he will point at it and go "utoh". And he will do it over and over until you pick it up for him. (if its a ball or something that he can not get too). Its pretty damn cute. He smiles like crazy! He has really got comfortable walking/running and climbing stairs. He needs help sometimes goes up or down and will hold his hands up for you to help him. He loves to be picked up and will come running to me with his arms up in the air going "UP" or at least it sort of sounds like up. He will also get his shoes and socks, bring them to you, sit down and wait for you to put them on. He liked to grab our shoes and try to put them on too. He does the same with shirts.
He got two molars while we were in Punta Cana. I think more are coming soon.

Every month is more fun then the month before. This kid is getting pretty kick-ass to be with.

Just so busy with home, work, kid and husband and to be honest the poor husband doesn't get as much time as he should. And tiny bit of time for me... and my Lego Batman game. :D

EDIT
Ryan is weened , his last feeding was Monday the 25th on the flight home. I am a little sad about this but we have other ways to bond now. He brings me books to read to him, we play hide and seek (sort of) and we have a lot of giggle fits together. Just another chapter in his life closed which means he is growing up.

You have to talk to your kids

Ryan has started to try to communicate with us now. I have to get a video of it. Its so damn funny.
There are also times when Ryan does something and I laugh and he will notice me laughing. Then he starts to laugh, then I laugh harder and then he laughs harder. We did this for almost 5 minutes the other night at bath time.
I blew a raspberry at him and he thought it was just the funniest thing in the world so he starts to giggle. I start giggling. We lean into each other just laughing and laughing. It was awesome. We were laughing so much Neil came in to hang out to see what was so funny.

This kid is so much fun right now. A lot more work in some regards (and less in others) but so just worth it.
When he was a tiny baby I marvelled at him and just the pure existence that was my son. Now I watch him and I am just swept over with this joy. He is his own person. He has thoughts and emotions and now he is trying to express them. This will include him pointing at something and asking with a question tone of voice "da dward?" whatever the hell that means. Or sometimes he will point with a demanding tone of voice at something (he wants it).
If he gets into something he shouldn't... lets just say he is walking around holding my iPhone, if I ask for it he will walk over to me and hand it over. Its nice. I know that will be short lived but at least he is polite for right now.

Here is a video Neil got this past Saturday of Ryan putting his stacker rings on his foot. He was cracking up like crazy (you see a little of this toward the end of the vid). He then came over and was putting them on my feet cracking up the whole time. Then Ryan and I both were tickling Neils feet. That was funny too. I love this point in his life. He is just such an awesome kid. Sleeping at night, starting to let us know what he wants, I love it. I do miss him being my little monkey but then he will do something like play hide and seek with me and I forget all about him being this tiny baby and enjoy him being my ever-growing son.

Enjoy.
Feet are so much fun!

Mothers Day

I have been so bad about writing on here since being back to work. Bad Mary.

Mothers day weekend was awesome. I got to sleep in BOTH days which was super of Neil to do. I know how much sleep means to us both. (we had a few rough nights with Ryan). Its funny, when you have a kid that doesn't sleep for a year you get sort of used to it. Then when the kid starts to sleep its really hard when he regresses and has a few rough nights.
Sunday I woke up a little early though. I come out in to the main part of the house and Neil sees me. I get "What are you doing up! Go back to bed you are going to ruin your surprise." (this coming from the kitchen) I see Ryan walking toward me with a charger cable in the living room. I start laughing and tell Neil its all good I will hang out with Ryan in the living room while he works on my breakfast surprise.

Neil brings me a cup of coffee while I play with Ry. We all sit at the table as Neil brings out maple syrup and his pancakes he made from scratch. YUM.
Plain ones, blueberry and chocolate chip!
Some of them are a little crispy around the ends but they are so so yummy. Ryan ate about 4 of them. (small ones) I think we both liked the blueberry ones the most which shocked Neil and me. I am not a fan of stuff in my pancakes but the blueberry ones were so yummy. Got an awesome picture of Ryan with blueberry all over his face which was funny. He shoved a blueberry up his nose and was laughing but by the time I got the picture he had pulled it out and set it to the side.
I got a super sweet card that Neil signed and helped Ryan to sign. Put a crayon in Ryans hand and helped him write it. I also got a $25 gift card to Tim Hortons which is pretty cool. The night before Neil got me Batman Arkham City. SCORE!

We ended the day at Rita & Tim's place for a really nice family cook out. Mothers day and Sandor's Birthday (grandpa). Lucy was even there (doggy).

All and all it was a pretty sweet mothers day. I think my favorite part was either the card or having pancakes with my two favorite men in the whole wide world.

 Saturday before mothers day we had a BBQ at Rita's house, just the three of us.

 Mmmmmm blueberry pancakes (nose blueberry in the lower right corner)

My super awesome fantastic kick-ass card. :D

________________________________________________________

Update on the stuff Ryan is doing now that he hit 13 months this week.
He sleeps all night about 90% of the time and wakes up between 530-7am.
He walks with no issues, though he had a rough time yesterday in Milk & Janets yard with his new sandals on.
I am pretty sure he can say 'thanks' and Gabi will back me up on this. He LOVES milk, finally he is drinking cows milk and when he sees an empty bottle he will go crazy till you give him milk. We are trying to wean him off breast feeding at bedtime. Trying to get it down to only morning boob and then hopefully in a few weeks none.I think around 18 months we will wean from the bottles of milk.
He loves bath time still. We found he also loves sandboxes. I saw a little of it last week when we were at the park playing but yesterday and Mike & Janets he really got into it. They have an awesome sandbox with a lid on it in the shape of a crab. Its on sale right now at TRU.
Neil and I are going to get him one for the grandfolk's place.
He still doesn't talk much. He says daddy and mom no problem but I have not noticed any other words just yet (other then thanks). We were looking up developmental milestones and on talking he is a little behind. Other things he is super ahead. Like turning the pages in his book, running after a ball, bending over to pick up stuff, sharing with you... using everything as a phone but knowing the phone really is a phone.
He is such an active kid. I am so happy he is back to being my happy guy again. For a little bit he was super whiney and just in a bad mood. Maybe he had tummy pain like I did this past friday (felt sick all day and then come home and barfed everything up). If he has the sick feeling like me no wonder he was grumpy and not wanting to eat. Poor guy.
Hopefully we will be tummy bug free for a bit. I can handle the boogers thanks to day care but the tummy pain SUCKS and Ryan having a tummy bug super sucks.

Virus of doom

Tuesday Neil came home from work and passed out on the futon. Then around 8 went to bed. He had a fever and felt sick to his stomach. Wednesday he stayed home with a wicked case of the runny-butt. I got a call from the day care Ryan vomited around 3pm. When a kid vomits they have to go home ASAP.
shit.

He vomited on me in the elevator up to our condo, twice. After eating a few sweet potato fries for dinner he barfed those up as well. Caught that in my hand. After he went to bed, barfed around 3am. Neil heard that one, go dad go (just a light cough and Neil knew)! In the morning he took four bites of apple sauce and a lot of liquid, he barfed up on me twice. I went to work and Neil was at home.
Visit to the doctor in the early afternoon which was a waste of time. Ryan has a tummy bug, give him liquids, watch for dehydration and try to get him to eat a little bit. All day and no barfing on dad. Gave him a lot of Pedialyte and some of grandmas chicken. He kept it down with a lot of breast milk too! THANK YOU. bath and some crying and now he is sleeping. Fingers crossed we go without any vomits and it really was just a 24 hour bug and not the 72 hour one Neil had.
I ran to the bathroom and almost horked tonight.
ugh.
For Day Care it has to be 24 hours before he can go back of no vomits. Last barf was around 7am.
If I keep feeling like this I hope with all my might he can go to day care cause taking care of him feeling like I do right now does not sound like fun.
Man I hope I get Ryans and not Neils sickness.

Feeling like poop warmed over. Gonna go to bed. Night folks.

Sick peanut is sick. :(

I really feel like a mom now. Something about your kid barfing on you over and over just really makes me feel like a mom. Maybe it's because I remember doing that to my mom and she would just clean us up and then comfort me. I get it now. I SOOOOO get it. A huge thank you to my mother for not going "HOLY SHIT EWWWWWWWW" and then dumping me on the ground. As a mom I understand why she couldn't do that as much as she might have wanted to.

:)

Flowers... for me?!

Yesterday while we were cleaning up the old place Gabi was watching Ry for us. She took him to the park. When they came back she brought him downstairs to us and he had three flowers in his hand.
It was amazingly sweet. Gabi and Ryan picked daffodils for me. He would hand me three of them, take one back, give it back to me, take it back, try to get Gabi to eat one, take it and give it to me and so on. It was something small but it made my day.
Gabi told me it was mothers day in Hungary. I wish I would have gotten a picture of the flowers or Ryan with the them or something.
Come on brain, do not forget this awesome sweetness from Ryan.

So many things in my brain.

So many things to write about so little time.
The wedding last weekend went off without any issues. It was beautiful, amazing and filled with love and fun. I might write more detail later. (with pictures!)

Today was spent cleaning the old place. I think we made a great dent. Could not have done it without Gabi's help. She took care of Ryan from 1:30-6pm. I really dont know what we would do without Neils parents.


Makes me a little sad I got so little time with Ry this weekend. Saturday was The Avengers which was AWESOME and today was cleaning. Trust me when I say I much rather have spent the day outside with Ryan and Neil playing in the park or going for a walk them cleaning our old apartment.
I digress, we got a lot done which feels great.


So stuff with Ryan. He has had some hard days. Just when we think the runny nose is better it gets worse. Thats the crappy thing about day care. Bonus is the sleeping. He sleeps much easier. I do wish the day care would give him more naps. I hate when he only has one nap and goes super crazy pants when we get home because he is so tired. He is a 1 year old. HE NEEDS TO SLEEP.
However, for now, he is still sleeping through the night, mostly. Sometimes he will wake, we think he has teeth coming in soon. God help us.

Today he grabbed his dirty shirt off the floor and tried to put it on himself, it was pretty cute. He does this open and close hand thing when he wants something really bad, normally its when he wants me. He acts up a lot more around me then anyone else. Day care says he is perfect. I was also warned this might happen. Its all normal. We spent all day and all night together. Now we have a two bedroom so he has his own room and he is in day care from 815-515. Neil and I try to spend as much time as we can with him. Ryan helps with this by waking up at 530 in the morning. :/
He is walking on his own all the time now, he even does this sort of running jog thing when he is excited or wants to get somewhere. I think he likes the condo. So much more room for him to run around in and explore and man, does he ever. He holds his own cup (this is a brand new things!) and knows what to do to drink from it. Somehow he learned about straws and can drink from that as well. He started Whole milk but he is not a fan of it. When he eats food he doesnt want he will ether pull it from his mouth and let it fall on the tray or floor or he will just open up his mouth and push the food out. Both are very funny and its super hard to refrain from laughing when he does it.

I found out my mothers day gift today from Neil. He is taking all my blog posts from the first one till Ryan hit one year, that is about 100 posts, and putting them in a book. He is having it done through apple which we are fond of using. (Rita and Tim wedding, Ryans albums, Sloanes first year album) they are a little pricy but so nice. This is a book I will always have. I can let Ryan read it when he is old enough to understand, I can re-read it and hold it in my hands. The pictures from me pregnant, ryan just born, apple picking, zoo, his shower, swimming for the first time, bath time, eating, sleeping, breast feeding, smiles, crying... so many memories in this past year to enjoy. It's awesome. Even more so since Ry is growing so much every week he is changing and becoming a little kid not a baby.


Now I need to come up with something for fathers day other then what I had planned. though to be fair he did get an iPad. :D


Work is hard. Neil thinks I lost my thick skin. I think I agree with him. I am offended and hurt much easier then I used to be. Some women have even commented about how happy I am now and smily. Most of the time this is true, why wouldn't I be. I have an amazing family and life, we are extremely lucky. Some women are mean, for the sake of being mean and I have no idea WHY they are. I do not understand or know what I did to upset them so since I have been away for a year, I dont think I did much to them. I often wonder if sometimes I did something and am just unaware. Maybe me coming back upsets the power or something? I mean come on, I am a graphic artist. Yeah I used to have a little more pull there before leaving so long but that will come back with time. Dont get me wrong, I enjoy my job, a lot, (when bitches are not being catty bitches) but I don't make it my main focus when I go home. I go home. I enjoy being home. I dont think about work at home anymore.
I hope things go back to normal. Though Neil has been telling me these mean women were mean before, I just didn't care as much before I left. I used to say "fuck those bitches" Now I say "I wonder why they dont like me." So lame I have become.
Thicken up skin, I am tired of being sad at work.

I miss my son. I will watch him on my break sometimes online and sometimes it makes me smile or laugh. And sometimes it makes my day even harder to get through. Helps we are super busy but watching him cuddling the ladies at his day care hurts and gives me a little relief. Unless you are a mom you will never understand this battle of feelings.
I have changed so much. I used to hate women that said that to me. "you are not a mom, you dont get it" but sorry ladies, its true.
Something changes in you, or at least it should. 


Okay enough, go to bed Mary. I keep staying up way to late and getting 5-6 hours sleep and then working all day and then running around like a crazy lady at night trying to prepare and clean.


I have yet to find my working mom groove. Hopefully that will come with time as well.
Any hits or tips for me?

Day care update

Ryan slept from 8pm till 6:30am. Almost 11 hours!
I think he was just so worn out.
I am watching him on my lunch break now. Neil sent me this this morning...
He said he thinks Ryan is the responsible party.

LOL

Right now he is just playing on his own and being a good kid. I sure hope they try to get him to nap soon.

You can sort of make him out in the orange shirt.

See you in a few hours little man.

Birthday and day care

April 17th was a lot of fun. We hung out, cleaned, went shopping, played, went on the swings, slid down the slide and after we got home from getting Neil Ryan had a cupcake. This time it was rainbow chip and I put a tiny bit of frosting on it.
He loved it.

 Forget broccoli, give me cake!

 Hmmmmm

 Hey dad, try this out!

Nomnomnom

April 18th Neil took me into work and then was off to the doctor with Ryan.
He got his 12 month shots, in his arms, poor kid. We also found out he is 27.5lbs and 78cm (30.7inches). He is in the top 90% (which means he is a big dude)
He should drink whole milk (not 2%) No peanuts till 2 years of age (or peanut butter) and he had a rash (which might be athletes foot) on his feet so we have to cream him up at night and try to leave shoes off.
Neil and Ryan had a great time together while I was back at work. Neil gave Ryan a piece of twine while he was on the phone with Revenu Canada about our taxes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GD-MBzrmJL4
Its pretty damn funny and it made my first day back to work go better.
My guys picked me up a little early and Neil had a frosty for me as a treat. It was awesome.


Today... today was the first day of day care. I was so 'butterfly belly' this morning. Ryan had no idea what was going on. We went into day care and after asking about the sign in for video over internet we took him to class. I let the ladies know Ry has a rash on his feet and to try to keep shoes off him and the milk was in the bag (breast for now, we really need to go grocery shopping). The young black lady (really need to learn her name!) took Ryan from me and told me "go have a good day." She put Ry in the middle of the room and he had his back to me and started playing. Neil took my hand and lead me out of there. I was crying. Not much just a few tears. Neil grabs my hand, puts it up in the air and turns to me and says "Lets celebrate, lets go to mexico! Ryan is their problem now!" I couldn't help but laugh.


I was pretty busy at work and trying to get into the swing but I did go online a few times to spy on Ryan. I saw him playing, being rocked, being hugged and cuddled, I saw him do the tired lay down and thought to myself "Oh they better put him to bed soon." I saw him step over another kid, play with a ball, eat, drink, walk around and have a good time.
The lady Rita told me he had two servings of tacos at lunch. LOL. And it also looks like he drank his whole bottle of breast milk at 4. Maybe I should give them two bottles? He ate pita, tzatziki, oranges and the fruit I gave them. Damn... kid can eat. I guess it's all the playing with other kids.
I am trying to get him to drink only from cups so we shall see. I will have to talk to them about that and what they think.
He was covered in boogers which was super gross. It was nice to bathe him tonight. Lets just say all the kids there have runny noses and its hitting my gross out factor pretty hard.


This is his report card.

(click to enlarge)

 I get one everyday.
 I fill out the small section to the top left and the ladys fill out the rest. They were really happy with how much he ate and drank but he didn't sleep. The 30 min nap he did take was on a hippo pillow in the main play room. Rita said he went to sleep in her arms around 11 (which I saw) but when they put him down in the crib room he woke up. She said they left him there and he chatted and cried a little. Hopefully he will sleep for them Friday. He was in a GREAT mood on the drive home and tonight while he ate dinner and played. He had a nice bath (a fast one though cause he kept trying to lay down in the water). Now he is sleeping. I am doing some wash and then time to make lunches for Neil and I. (and a shower)
I will confess tonight after bath, after saying goodnight to daddy and kitty Roag, after breast feeding and teeth brushing I let him sleep on me. I sat in the chair in his room while he slept on me just staring at him while the sun was setting. I was in there about 10 min longer then I needed to be. I wanted to hold him longer but we need to sleep train him again, he is getting bad. I just sat there cuddling him looking at him and smelling him and kissing him. Trying to engrave in my brain how he feels in my arms.


I know I am being dramatic... I also know other moms reading this blog will get this and nod in agreement to that feeling. The old cliche is true, they grow up way to fast.


Love you little man.

Happy Birthday my love.

(Sorry for the lack of posts. Been busy trying to get the house in order before the big day and to get ready for work and Ryan ready for day care... sad mom is sad.This is my last day of mat leave. Ryan gets shots Wednesday morning with Neil and then off to day care Thursday.)


This time last year Ryan was 2 1/2 hours old and all Neil and I wanted to do at this point was stare at him, hold him and sleep. I was struggling to breast feed Neil was struggling to not pass out. Also it was snowing last year... this year it is sunny, 9c and green is growing on the trees.
This 8lb 12oz ball of screaming love was ours.
Now he is just such a monkey. He walks and is starting to get really good at it, he loves to hug and he kisses you too. It's a big open mouth with a lot of tongue but he means well. Ryan that is, not Neil. heh
He loves to play, go on swings, car rides (thank god for front facing) dances to music, plays the piano with Neil and for the most part sleeps all night. He takes baths in the big tub (without me in it) and loves to play in the water. He still chases after Roag (kitty) like crazy. Not such a fan of the tv when we do have it on anymore. (thank goodness). 
I think he is really enjoying this large house. Last week I was in the kitchen and he comes walking in (my mom was watching him in the living/sunroom) he grabs my dish towel and goes running down the hallway toward the bedrooms with me chasing him giggling (both of us that is). He looks up at me while playing and just gives me this HUGE grin. Every night when Neil comes home he is so thrilled to see daddy.
I also think Ryan is trying to talk. (god help us).


Saturday we had a birthday party for him. It went great! We had a lot of people over and I think they all had a good time. Ryan was napping for the first part of it so when Neil brought him out of the bedroom into the living room area FULL of people he cried for a minute, a little overwhelmed. Once he got his barings he had a great time. 

 Before the party started

What the hell is going on?!

 Lets play!

 Baby feet are so cute.

The banner I made from birth to 11 months.

 What should I do with this?

Its all good honey, eat the cake, it's good!

Christina thought he was too neat so she helped out a little...

She painted a Van-dike on him with icing. hehe

Eat the cake!

Outfit change after cake, looking like a pimp son!

 Such a cute kid

Tired dad is tired. (but did an awesome job cleaning while I was getting Ry to bed!)

Now that Ryan sleeps it's hitting Neil & I how LUCKY we really are. Ryan is a pretty easy going kid. Yeah he is a little attached to me and to the boob still (about 3-4 times in 24 hours but I am hoping to just be morning and night when day care starts). He gets nasty when tired or hungry but really, who doesn't?

He is such a happy kid that smiles at everyone, he is outgoing and loves to play. He is not shy, a brat or mean. Everyone loves him, strangers comment on him an how happy he is all the time. He LOVES other kids. Neil and I really got lucky with Ryan. I can not wait to see what the next year holds for us and how much more he will change. 

This past year has been a blessing and I will miss my little man Monday-Friday 8:30-5pm like crazy. I know he will have fun, I know this is healthy for him, I know I have no choice, I know I will be out that door at work at 4:58 everyday to get to him, I know I am very lucky to have had a year off work to be with him. I wish I had more, I wish I could have done more. This kid really is the center of my life and I love being his mommy.

Alas its time for me to work and bring home the money so maybe one day we can put this kid through med school. 

Little dude, one day if you read this, know that I love you with every fiber of my being. You are a physical representation of the love I have for your dad. For that I thank you everyday. Also you are so awesome. Keep being a kick ass baby/toddler/boy/man and know I might one day be your friend/confidant/sounding board/leaning post... but I will always be your mommy. I hope you always will look up to me like you do now. I really hope I never let you down. It can be a lot of pressure being a mommy and I will not always be perfect but I promise, for you, I will try.

Yeah I cried a little. So what?

New home

Lack of updates have been due to moving into the new home, trying to unpack and get ready for the kids first birthday.
It's been an insane past two weeks.
Super insane past week.

In less then a week I will be back at work and Ryan will be in daycare.
Sad mom is sad.
More on all this later when I am not tired and busy trying to get everything ready for party and work and my house.

In good news Ryan sleeps almost all night. He sometimes wakes up around 3am and cries but he has been going back to sleep on his own. He does wake at 5:30 for some boob and then goes back to sleep till 6:30-7am. Perfect!
I love him having his own room. I sort of miss us cuddling at night or at nap time but I know this is best for us all! Just means we have to have more cuddles and hugs during the day.

Stupid work getting in my way.