Advice and Neils first 'bad day' alone with Ry

I thought it was bad when I was pregnant. Nope. The amount of advice you get on babies is nothing until you are carrying one around ON you not IN you.

"He is to young to be outside"

"That's not how I did it with my kids"

"Well I have five children so I know what I am talking about"

"when I had my kids they told us to do this..."

A lot of the advice I have gotten has been BEYOND helpful. It pays to open your ears and not dismiss someone because they had a kid 30 years ago. You can learn a lot.

When I first had Ryan I got annoyed a lot at the un-asked for advice. Now that I am not as sleep deprived and there for less of a bitch I open up and take what I want from the advice given.

Friends, family, and strangers can sometimes offer a awesome idea, or tidbit of info if you just take a second and pay attention.

So Saturday Neil, Chris, Dan and Anand went out to Niagara Falls for Dans bachelor party. It was an over night trip. And as one would imagine Neil did not get a lot of sleep that night, just a few hours. 

Sunday he comes home, we chat about the night (and I get really jealous of the yummy food they ate) and I get ready to go to the bridal shower. I feed Ryan and he is in a pretty good mood when I leave (just pooped and passed a lot of gas).
Neil is full of hope that he will be able to get a nap with Ryan. I hope he does to but I know Ryan has that "up all day" look to him. I didn't think he would be so grumpy though...

Then I get the text messages from Neil about how Ryan ate ALL three 50ml breast milk bottles in 45 minutes. Crap, that was all the breast milk I left non-frozen. Neil will have to use Formula before I get home. Well that was the least of Neils worries. Ryan went into "BAD MOOD" and just kept crying. I start getting messages about how our son is bi-polar. 

 When Neil took the 3rd bottle away for 1 second.

heh Then I get this message...

"I just changed his outfit which he then proceeded to spit up on not once but twice to assert dominance over me"

I start laughing. I write Neil "Welcome to my Monday - Friday" I really think now Neil understand why sometimes I am frantic by the time he gets home to give him Ryan so I can take a shower (thankfully those days are rare).

Wasn't too long after that I came home and Ry got the boobies he missed so much. (and then passed out on me until I was RUDE enough to move then started to cry)

Its harder for Neil cause he has to warm up the bottles and Ry is used to not waiting and really doesn't handle waiting well at all.

I also forgot to warn Neil about the cluster feeding and how he can eat A LOT in a small amount of time. For me its not too big a deal, little painful and makes me tired but I dont have to heat up 3 bottles in less then an hour.

Neil is the white my replies are in the green. 

(its a joke people Neil loves Ryan, gas comment made me laugh so I thought I should share)

Then we talk about taking him out of the basket in our bed and moving him to the crib tonight. Which went really great. The crib is in our bedroom and the Moses basket use to be in our bed between us. It was nice to have our king size bed back!

Neil tried it out and Ry liked it for his 30 min afternoon nap.
(also I removed all the toys from his crib before last night)

Good thing is because he was up all day and he got a bath last night he slept great last night for us YAY!

I never thought my life would revolve around another persons poops and sleep schedule. So weird.

Also we really need to get the air turned on here, its getting hot and hot baby = evil.

Bras and bad days

I am looking for a good breastfeeding bra. I have one now but it feels weird and its black. I need a nude or white one. It is summer and I cant wear black for the next five months. I already am running hot because of the breastfeeding. Really don't want to sweat all over poor Ryan when we are out being active.

Right now I use three sport bras I got at wal-mart and I just pull them down under my boob. Works great at home but I would like something smooth and a little less noticeable when I go out.

SO all you breast feeding moms, any help would be great. Looking for brands and where to get them. Those of you in the states we don't have target up here but I can order and ask my mom to ship it up. I would like something with support and something easy to un-clasp.

(thank you in advance)

Ryan has been having 'bad' days since Sunday and today is a good day YAY.

Bad days are him crying a lot and nothing makes him happy and he wont sleep during the day so he gets tired and cries.

Good days are when he is happy and smiles and naps. Today is a good day and its a nice break to be honest. I love seeing my smiling happy baby. When his eyes open and he sees me he breaks out in this HUGE smile. I love that. I don't like when he turns purple and big ol' tears come down his face and nothing I can do makes him happy.

Breast Feeding

I am writing this with any new moms in my thoughts.

Breast feeding is HARD. Its painful, exhausting, stressful and takes a lot of your time and time you could be sleeping... when you first start.
Breast feeding is really pushed HARD in Canada. And the good thing is there is a lot of information and help out there if you have problems. (Free help)

That being said I am really happy I stuck with it. There were so many times I almost gave up.

Ryan was born with a tongue tie which didn't make it any better. He could latch great but he couldn't use his tongue to scoop the nipple and suck. This lead to him feeding for, not kidding here, HOURS and causing me to have blisters on my nipples.

I dreaded feeding him. (not anymore yay!)

Our son also has an oral fixation where he will want to nurse but the milk will just flow out of his mouth. We gave him a pacifier at 2 weeks which helped me to keep breast feeding him. (I keep track of when he eats to make sure he is getting enough food and if he is hungry he will spit out the pacifier and make sure YOU KNOW he wants the boob)

We were so scared about 'nipple confusion' we used a dropper to give him formula between feedings before my milk came in. After my milk came in we were okay just waiting to get his tongue fixed.

After his tongue was fixed it got MUCH better. He would eat for 10-20 min and de-latch himself. 

After a good burping he was a pretty happy kid. And I was a really happy mom.

Also around the 2 week mark we gave him a bottle for the first time.

Mixing a bottle before bed, my breast feeding him all day and at night, and a pacifier did not confuse him. We are lucky that he will eat breast milk or formula. He is not picky.

I know the many many benefits of breast feeding and I agree is the best for a child. That being said I think its horrid how you are made to feel if you do use formula. My lactation consultant called it "fast food" filling but not good for you. I disagree. I don't think its evil. Granted I only give him 1 bottle of it at night about 99% of the time its breast. Sometimes on a weekend if we are out I will give him some formula but that's pretty rare. I am in the habit of taking my pump with me to friends houses and giving him a bottle of fresh pumped breast milk if need be.

It pissed me off when people said breast feeding should not hurt and if it does you are doing it wrong. Bullshit. Anything sucking on your nipples for 20min at 12 times a day is going to hurt. You are not a bad mother.

Try to stick with it, its worth it and you will BOTH get the swing of it. And if you have to have a break and give a bottle of formula you are not a bad mom. I felt like I was, like I was letting him down. Looking back now that was stupid. Food is food, some food is better for you but not letting your kid go hungry is the best. 

Also breast feeding is super convenient. Nothing to warm up, no bottles to sterilize, no waiting and having the kid get really upset and cry. You just pop a boob in the mouth and you are good to go. 

I know its cheesy but I also feel this bond with him. I give him food. One of the most basic needs any living thing has, but not just the food... I will rub his back while he eats, or talk to him. I get to have this awesome bond with him no one else gets to have. Oh Neil feeds him also but this is straight from my body to his. It's pretty cool and a little gross.


So moral of the story. DO NOT FEEL BAD for getting frustrated or feeling like giving up or even giving up. I do promise you that it does get better. Try your very best to stick it out and you will get used to it (pain gets better and pretty much goes away with time) and the baby will get better at it too. Its new to you both. Don't be so hard on yourself if you can't keep it up. You are not a bad mom.
:)

One month old

I can not believe one month has gone by already. Not upset about it, just shocked.

It's pretty cool when you stop and think about it though. He is starting to get a personality to him and not just a feeding, pooping, sleeping thing. In another month he will be a mini human and not just a baby. Pretty exciting stuff.

Happy baby and happy mom

This past month held so many firsts for Neil and I as a couple with our new little guy. So many accomplishments and small victory's.

In no order... bathing Ryan for the first time (sponge and real bath) going out to eat with Ryan, the cord coming off (ew), visiting friends with babies and without, geocaching, our first walk together, our first outing to a store, our first diaper change and clothing change, breastfeeding and getting the hang of that, tongue ties, doctor visits, weigh in's, crying fits (me and the baby) cooking dinner (harder to do then you would think with a new born) the cats getting used to Ryan, our first car ride, the BIRTH of Ryan and the hospital stay (Neil should get a home made pie for his role in that) Poor guy spent two days sleeping in chairs and he changed the first few poop diapers with that tar like poop. I am sure there are many other firsts I am forgetting but all of them have been amazing.

I think Neil really did say it best when he said there are things he would do for Ryan he would never do for anyone else. 

I remember when Sloane (our friends daughter) spit up on me the for the first time. I thought I was going to be sick. I was so grossed out. How could Chris and Tara walk around with spit up stains on shirts and not think anything of it?! I get it now. Ryan spit up on me yesterday at a Joe & Angela's house and I didn't think anything of it. Wiped it off my shirt and just kept on playing the Michael Jackson Video game.

I change his poop diaper without another thought about it and I get all excited when he farts cause it makes for a happy Ryan when the gas gets out.

Don't get me wrong, kids are pretty gross but something in you changes when it's your own and you don't mind cleaning that crease under the neck where cat hair gets stuck.

And in this corner weighing in at...

1 month check up today at the doctors for Ryan. He will be one month old on Sunday. Wow.

He weighs 10lbs 14oz, almost 11lbs. Double wow. He is getting big!

He feel much more sturdy. He holds his neck up every time I burp him (unless its late at night and he is sleeping while I try to burp him) and he can move his head around. Doesn't have great control of it so we still have to support him but he is getting there.

Yesterday was a rough day. He cried A LOT and was really gassy. Still have no idea what I am doing wrong. Guess we will have to just tough it out and understand that some days will be bad. Good thing is he slept great last night so Neil and I got some sleep for a change.

Today he is much better. Only had a little gas pain. I picked up Gripe water and tried it out. Looks like its working pretty well. I figure the Ovol drops are small enough to put in the diaper bag so those we will travel with and leave the gripe water at home since the bottle is huge and the serving size is much larger.

I am still free of milk, spice, onions and garlic. And I am still have two cups of Fennel tea a day. Nothing has really changed. The Doc said today to avoid spicy foods but everything else should be okay. He also said about the 4mth mark it should get better.

I figure Neil and I made it one month and its gone by pretty fast. The next three should be okay too.

I am excited about seeing how he grows, who he will look like, what colour his eyes will be, will he have dimples when he smiles? What colour will his hair be, please let him have my thick hair and not Neils thin! Will he get freckles or have Neils nice skin that tans in the sun? What will his first word be?

(first bath photo)

Second bath went much better. Neil was in the tub with him. Ryan looks red cause of the lighting and I took this with my iPhone. 

The water was not hot, don't worry!

I hope Ryan loves the water as much as I do when he is a little older!

Also we are going for the second month shots on the 22nd of June. It was scheduled for the 17th but then I realized that is the day before the baby shower and a baby with a fever and all grumpy from the shots might not be that fun to be around or get photos of... so we rescheduled. :D  
Good thing Chris and Tara already hooked us up with the pain medication we will need for Ryan.
It's nice to have new parents around us to give us all these tips and tricks!!!


Also its been nice to get all this advice on breast feeding and any of the problems we had with Ryan. The info is great and I really appreciate it everyone. 
THANK YOU!

Clothing and Gas Pain

Its so odd to put on clothing now. My body is not back to its old size but every day its getting closer. Good news is bloating is pretty much gone and I can wear my wedding ring! (and my old shoes)

It did feel nice to put away my pregnant clothing. A little sad though. But it was also fun to go through some of my old clothing from last year and try everything on, to see if it fit or how much I had to lose to get it to fit. Sometimes I miss my belly. I miss rubbing it. But then I hug my husband, bend over and put on my shoes or go three hours without peeing and I don't miss it so much. :P

I gained 47lbs when preggo. Wow just writing that makes me sad. I thought I only gained 38 but I went back through my old journal and information... nope 47 gained. WOW. 

I have lost 35lbs so far in the past three weeks. A good part of that was lost when I gave birth.

It's not just the almost 9lb kid I had but all the fluid and gross stuff that goes with it. I think some of it I have lost by breast feeding. The first two weeks I would have cramps when he feed because it was everything shrinking back to its old size. I am looking forward to my check up on the 31st to see how everything is and if I am back to normal.

Breast feeding also burns calories and water weight (which is why I am drinking even MORE water then before) and if you know me that is insane... I drink a crap ton of water.

I figure if I watch what I eat (and I have to cause Ryan is very sensitive to the foods I eat) and go for a walk every day I should lose the rest of it by the end of summer.

My goal then is to lose another 35lbs by the end of next winter. And I figure running around after a toddler that should be a realistic goal. So 35lbs in a year...

LETS DO THIS!

Not eating sweets is a big motivation when you are breastfeeding cause the sugar goes to the baby and makes him really cranky.

Ryan has been suffering from really bad gas. We give him Ovol drops sometimes but I don't want to give it to him too much medication. 

I have tried cutting stuff from my diet.

I have cut milk, hot spice, onions and garlic. WHICH SUCKS cause all of those we eat a lot of. Onions and hot spice are in almost everything we cook.

I thought after I gave birth, other then limited booze, I would be able to eat anything I wanted again. damn it.

But watching him turn purple from crying in pain is really what pushes me to try elimination diet while I breast feed. I have read that into the second month the babies intestines will mature more and have less issues with gas. I hope that is the case. Ill double check with his Doc on Friday.

I am even trying fennel tea cause its supposed to help Ryan with gas.

Poor guy. Neil has gotten really good at 'gassing him' aka pumping Ryan's legs until he farts. I am starting to get good at it too.

We thought it might be the pacifier giving him gas but I am pretty sure its the food I am eating. Also the one day I went without giving him the pacifier was a NIGHTMARE. Not going to try that again anytime soon.

I am looking forward also to Ryan's one month check up this Friday. I cant wait to see how much he weighs now. Not looking forward to the shots he will have in his second month. They might cause a fever for a few days. That will suck BIG TIME. 

Off to try to shower. Robin is coming over tonight for dinner. I am going to try to convince the boys to go for a walk. Maybe Robin can carry Ryan in the Bjorn!

Geocaching with Ryan

Friday night was his first real bath. Didn't go over that great with Ry. Neil got some photos and I will have to add them into this post later (once I get them off the camera). The camera gets awesome shots but its just so much easier with my iPhone to get photos and get them online. Too bad I was washing him and trying my best to not have him get too cold or pissed.

 I digress. So the bath didn't go so great and it dried his skin out pretty bad (I put baby lotion on him afterward) but he slept pretty good after the bath.

Saturday we were supposed to be at Dan & Vanessa's at 11, we got there a few minutes after 12. Neil had emergency work shit to deal with and I was busy trying to shower myself, get me ready, get the bag ready, feed Ryan, feed the cats, double check the bag... all the other crap you have to do before leaving with a newborn. I think we made pretty good timing. Freaked me out how many babies were there though. Really hit me we are all in the breeding age group now.

We hung out with them for a while. Vanessa brunch birthday celebrating and she announced she is going back to school to get a law degree which is huge news! And its going to be in Ottawa which is about four hours away from her soon to be husband Dan. She will do it from Sept-April for three years. It will be hard on them but I think they can do it. Neil and I did it for a long time and we made it work. Its a sacrifice for the future for them. It opens a lot of doors for Vee.

After we left there we went to Babies R Us and good thing we did... The Bjorn Carrier we wanted, the $200 one was $40 OFF! Super score AND we had $100 in gift certs on us so we got it all said and done for $78 bucks (with a warranty) Not bad.

So we went into the parking lot and while Neil was strapping it on I feed Ryan in the car. And we were off. We got two Geocaches!

Side note if you don't know what Geocaching it check it out here. http://www.geocaching.com/

Its awesome, I think Neil summed it up best when he said it felt like we had a normal life back but just was making room for Ryan in it. (or something to that effect). We went out A LOT last summer and made it a point to not be in the house. With losing Abbey last year and feeling like we didn't make the most of our summer the year before we just really put ourselves out there to the point where some friends made fun of us on facebook about how we went to every festival and park. We want to do that again this year. But it just takes a little more planning with a baby. And we did it! We don't want to be home body's and afraid of going out cause we have no idea how to do it with a kid... you will learn but doing!

After that we went to Carters and got two outfits with Ryan and then walked over to Winners to check it out. Nada there.

We were driving home and called Joe and Angela to see if they wanted to just walk around the lake with us.

Neil feed Ryan some breast milk in the car while I pumped and it hit us... we had been out for five hours with Ryan doing stuff. And making it work! Other then one melt down at BRU when Ryan was over heated we were having a great time.

We did the walk around the lake and then Angela suggested we hit up Five Guys burgers for lunch/dinner. Since we hadn't eaten much that day and were STARVING it was not a hard sell.

Ryan was awesome at the restaurant too and we were able to enjoy our meals. 

After that we headed home to chill on the futon with Ryan and watch some Wipe Out (our new guilty pleasure).

We were out of the house for a little over seven hours. We walked so much I am pretty sore today (still healing). But I wouldn't take back a second of it. It felt so awesome. Like a complete family just out enjoying the spring day and sunshine.

That being said in celebration of Mothers day I pumped a lot yesterday so Neil has milk and I am ditching him and the kid for an hour. I am going to buy myself a pair of shorts and some more tank tops as my gift to me. :D

Hmmmm then again maybe it would be fun if we went out as a family to Old Navy. 

Have a great mothers day to all the moms out there and remember to take a little time to yourself but also use this day to remind yourself how awesome your kid/kids are and how lucky you are to have them.

Rough Day

Yesterday was a really rough day.

Monday we had the tongue tie fixed and Neil thinks maybe due to pain is why Tuesday was so rough. Ryan just would not sleep more then 20 min and he just wanted to feed the whole time. I was so worn out when Neil got home (after making dinner) he took over for me. I finally got a shower and went to bed. I got a good hour and a half sleep and Neil brought Ryan in for bedtime. Neil figured it out. He just wanted to suckle. So he gave him the pacifier and Ryan was happy after that. (after eating almost two bottles in two hours!)

Ryan slept great last night, I slept great and Neil slept great. Feeling much better today.

I am keeping track of when I feed him and how long still and if after nursing steady for 20 min he passes out and then wakes when I move him I give him the pacifier for a little bit and he goes back to sleep.

He is sleeping now. So I should really take this time to eat something and try to get a nap too... in preparation for tonight.

:)

I really need to give myself a break. I broke down last night cause I was so worn out. I really don't know what I would do without Neil here to help out in the evenings.

I think its just taxing sometimes. Nursing Ryan, trying to stay on top of the dishes, house, dirty clothing, making sure Ryan is okay, trying to get a shower, chasing after the cats... it can be a bit much at times when I am sleep deprived. And yesterday I just felt like a bad mom, like I couldn't sooth my son and figure out what's wrong. My brain gets to jello when I don't get sleep. Good thing Neil was there and figured it out and let me just step away from it and stop being so silly.

I really find myself looking forward to weekends cause during the week I don't really get to spend much time with Neil. Before we car pooled together, spent all night together, chatted, watched TV together... now I get a few hours and then its off to bed. I miss my husband. But weekends are so awesome. We chat, curl up together when Ryan is sleeping, its nice.

I am also looking forward to the moses basket not being in our bed. Right now the basket is in our bed between us cause its easier to scoop Ryan up when he is crying and pop him on my boob then to go to the crib. I figure maybe another month of him in our bed and then we will move him to the crib (which is in our room) but leave him in the basket a little longer. Make the move easier on him. It is very handy cause I hear every little sound Ryan makes and its nice to be able to just lift my head up, look at him, realize he is just snoring and go back to sleep myself. Better then getting up every time I hear a noise and checking him.

Also Ryan does that 'pause' breath Tara warned me about and it freaks the shit out of me. He will be breathing all noisy and heavy and then just STOP for a few breaths. So that makes me wake up and check him. 

It will be nice when we are past the three month scary part.

Off to eat and nap. Hopefully. :P

Weekend of First's

This weekend was a weekend full of firsts for us as a family.

1. Friday we went to Chris & Tara's

We figure our first time out at a friends house would be best if we went to a house that has a kid. Chris & Tara have a eight month old daughter named Sloane. When we got there Chris was feeding Sloane dinner. She was very curious about Ryan. After chatting for a bit Ryan got hungry so I breast feed him for a bit. We enjoyed a easy going dinner and chatting with the experienced parents. Tara made me feel much better about the struggles I had with breast feeding. Tara and Sloane were sitting on the mat on the floor and I sat down there with Ryan. Sloane was very interested in Ryan's hands and kept trying to get them. It was very cute. We lasted a pretty long time. We ended up leaving around 11:30 with no problems (no screaming fits or exploding poo from Ryan.)

2. Saturday afternoon we went to Joe and Angela's. 

They have a puppy but no kids. (both have nieces and nephews though so Kids are not a odd thing to them) just a kid free house. I think we packed up everything we thought we would need and did really great.

We fed Ryan really well before we left and we enjoyed a walk around the lake Aquatine with Tumbler (the puppy). All went pretty good. Ryan was still sleeping when we got inside and we let him. I pumped under the boob cover in preparation for him waking and its just easier to pump and feed from a bottle when we are out. I didn't want to sit there trying to feed him for an hour. After he woke I was feeding him when he pooped. Or so I thought he pooped... I took him into the bedroom to change him on his travel change mat. As I took off his diaper and was wiping him down he peed. I covered him with a diaper and called for Neil. As I was putting that wet diaper in the throw away bag Ryan thought it would be a great idea to shit everywhere. And on top of that pee some more. Real nice. I had yet to get a diaper under him so it was all over the place on his change pad and all over him... as he was kicking and squirming all over. We wrapped him up in a spare blanket we had and I took him into the bathroom to wash him down while Neil cleaned up the change mat. It was so embarrassing. THANK GOD we didn't get any poop on the carpet (of the apartment they JUST moved into 3 months ago) yikes.

Also thankful I had packed so many blankets and outfits because they didn't have any paper towels. Needless to say we didn't hang out too long after that because we were out of most things we might need if he pooped again! I think we left around 7ish. Those of you on our facebook will remember the photo Neil posted of Ryan and I sleeping early Saturday night... yeah it was a long day!

3. Sunday we went out to eat. Ryan Mitchell came over to meet our Ryan. We hung out for a bit and then decided to venture out for a early dinner at Jack Assters with the kid. Our first time eating out. Thankfully Ryan slept the whole time but I was ready for him to wake. I had some breast milk in our bag just encase! Also Neil and I win perfect timing award because about 5 min after Neil dropped me off at home (he was taking Ryan M to the go station) our Ryan shit all over and little did I know the one side of his diaper came undone. So there was a little clean up for mom and that was followed with some crying because he was hungry. Like I said perfect timing because that would have been a pain to clean up at the restaurant.

4. First public bathroom change. 
Today at the doctors we got his tongue tie fixed. Neil had to hold him cause I could not look. It was just a little cut under his tongue with very little blood (had to put a little mini gauze in his mouth). And we were able to feed once we got home. Still painful but Ry and I will have to work together on it. I am pretty excited about him being able to eat without causing me so much pain because I am on the verge of being a pump only mom and I know that is a one way street to a formula mom and I really really want him to get breast milk as long as I can. So today was the first time I change him in a public bathroom. Went really well. Some crying cause the wipes are cold but at least he didn't pee on me.

So just a lot of firsts for us new parents and new baby. We are slowly starting to figure it all out. I have a fine balance.
I try to nap in the morning (after eating really fast) with Ry after Neil leaves for work. Typically about 45 min around 10am. Then Ryan eats more. His early afternoon nap is when I shower, eat lunch, do dishes, do the wash and try to do a fast clean of the house (also pet the kitties a little). Late afternoon before Neil comes home I try to squeeze in another 45 min nap if Ryan feels nice enough to sleep that long. Night time I get 1-2 hours between the feeding. Sometimes I am VERY lucky and will get 3 WHOLE hours of sleep. Those are awesome nights.

Tiny hands are cute.

Being a mom is pretty hard work. A lot harder then I used to give women credit for. I think, with time, it will get not easier but better at fitting stuff into the day and getting things done. I do think it would easier if I bottle fed, not MUCH easier but I would spend a lot less time feeding him. Breast feeding takes time but today at one point he latched on and it DIDN'T HURT. I got so excited. After two weeks of pain it didn't hurt. Then he broke the latch and it hurt again but the promise is there and that makes me hopeful. I also think with the tounge tie fixed he won't need to feed as long. He will get more milk faster.
Or so the research says, and that makes for a happy fat baby and a happy rested mom!